Today my parents and I went to see my psychiatrist plus the psychologist who did my psychiatric testing. I was pretty nervous but didn't expect anything too bad. Well, after talking for a bit about cutting, ect. he went into the testing. He said that based on it I am female and that the way I answered the questions and stuff was in a female way (whatever that means). They said that they do not believe I'm FtM but rather I'm just so depressed/low self-esteem that I'm just confused or something :huh: Basicly they think I'm crazy. And also because I remember almost nothing about my childhood they think I might have been abused and neither my parents or I know about it. So how did I react? Well I cryed and just kept crying. I was getting snappy and angry. Did my best to glare at the two and show them my anger. The person I thought I was is apparantly a lie. According to them Jordan does not exist but rather Jessica is just crazy or something. I'm feeling so horrible right now. How can I not be FtM. I know I am so how can they say I'm not? I don't get it. So now I'm on anti-psychotics which make me really drowsy so now I'm all sleepy.

Also before anyone says they hate trans both of these psychs are friendly towards trans people.

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*friends*